We chose four pieces to display on our Spring bulletin board bordered by the Sleepover pajamas that the students had water colored. We posted the first grade standard for opinion writing: Write opinion pieces in which they introduce the topic or name the book they are writing about, state an opinion, supply a reason for the opinion and provide some sense of closure.
Below is Sophie's adorable opinion about the fun day!
(Check out all the speech bubbles!)
Do the Disco! Have you ever had a P.J. day at school? Well, I have! At my school first graders
get to dress in their P.J.'s. We even get to do the Disco. We call it Sleepover.
My favorite part of Sleepover was when we danced in the Media Center and ate popcorn. We watched a
movie and we saw a play. The play was about a little boy that had a sleepover, but my favorite part is dancing.
My friend said to my other friend, "Put your hands up like you don't even care!"
We were tired after. It was a lot of fun. I give the Media Center 5 very good sleeping bags up.
Sophia’s
Commentary
Structure
Overall
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Sophia
meets the first grade standard for opinion writing. She writes her opinion about the Media
Center being her favorite part of Sleepover. She gives reasons (Reason 1: dancing, Reason 2: eating popcorn, Reason 3: watching a movie, and Reason
4: watching a play).
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Lead
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Sophia
gives the reader a hint as to her topic in her opening sentence, Do the Disco! She engages the reader as she asks the
question, Have you ever had a PJ day at
school? and then goes on to put Sleepover in the context of first grade
at her school.
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Transitions
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Sophia
uses and to connect two thoughts.
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Ending
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Sophia
closes her piece by telling that she was tired after the Dance Party She
rates the Media Center with her top prize of
five stars, or as in this case, five sleeping bags. The sleeping bags tie in nicely with her
last comment of being tired when the Dance Party is over.
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Organization
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Sophia
certainly writes an introduction to grab the reader’s attention and she also
has parts where she tells more, such as her dialog about her friend at the
Dance Party.
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Development
Elaboration
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Sophia
elaborates in her introduction as she talks about Sleepover including wearing
PJs, the first graders at her school, and getting to disco. She also elaborates about the play that she
sees in the Media Center about a little
boy that had a sleepover, and, of course, she includes her friend saying,
“Put your hands up like you don’t even CARE!”
when she describes dancing. This
element actually meets the second grade standard.
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Craft
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Sophia
uses craft when she capitalizes and bolds the word DISCO. She uses labels and
speech bubbles in her illustrations to tie in with her text. She also bolds the word CARE! And then puts the word fun inside the circle of the
exclamation point.
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Language Conventions
Spelling
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Sophie’s
writing is easy to read. She spells
many high frequency words automatically.
Words that she misspells are spelled phonetically, such as pejas for PJs, dres for dress, scooll
for school.
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Punctuation
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Sophie
is a fluent writer and uses periods at the end of pages automatically. She adds capitals and periods in the middle
of the page during the editing process to keep from having run on
sentences. She uses question marks appropriately
and exclamation points to express excitement.
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