My American Girl

Earlier this month I wrote about a gift that I had received that meant a lot to me as part of the fallblogchallenge2010. However, this Christmas I may have given my most favorite gift of all.

My daughter, Courtney, is a third grade teacher and she has written quite eloquently about her own challenges as a young reader. As part of her blog entry about her life as a reader she told the story about how I tried to bribe her to read more in the second or third grade. The American Girl dolls were so popular and she REALLY wanted one, so I told her that if she would read the entire series about any one of the dolls that I would buy the doll for her. She chose Molly so I went right out and bought the series. I was so proud of myself- so smug, so sure that I had the perfect plan! I think Courtney really tried, but the books were just too tough for her. I brought it up again several times over the years- as the books gathered dust on her shelf. I'd catch her looking longingly at the books but to my knowledge, she never touched them again. They just stood there as a reminder of her failure.

As the years went by, Courtney continued to really work hard. She never gave up, although it seemed she had to work harder than most of her friends. By the time she got to college she had decent comprehension skills but it still took her much longer than her friends to complete reading assignments. By then, of course, she had developed lots of coping skills such as color coded note taking, summarizing at the end of each paragraph, making notes in red on yellow note cards, dictating important events into a tape recorder as she went and then playing it back when she finished and dozens of other "tried and true " techniques that she had developed that helped her study. Things really seemed to click for her as she went through her college years and, much to my surprise, she even went on to pursue a masters degree. About two yeas ago she actually came home and read a book that my husband had finished and recommended for PLEASURE! It had been a long, hard road, but I am so proud of how she persevered.

As I was choosing her present this year, I wrote her this letter.

Dearest Courtney,
When you were a youngster, I so wanted you to love reading... but you didn't! I tried EVERYTHING, including trying to bribe you with something you really, really wanted - an American Girl doll. I told you that if you would read the entire set of books, I would buy you the doll. I think you tired. You read about half of one book before you abandoned the series. Always good to my word, I never bought you that doll!

As the years have passed, you have worked so hard. You never gave up. With lots of determination you really have become a reader - even reading for pleasure! You have used what you learned during those difficult years to work with and understand your own struggling students and that insight will make you a better teacher for generations of children.

I just wanted to find a way to let you know how I feel. I hope this present will say to you how really proud I am and how much I have always loved who you are but especially who you have become. You are... and have always been... my most precious daughter. I love you.

Merry Christmas, Dearest One. May all your dreams come true. Mom

On Christmas Eve, I read the letter to her before she opened the present. At least I tried to read it - more tears than words... As she opened the doll, I hoped that it would become a symbol that she would proudly display in her classroom and use to tell her own story to children that struggle. It was such an intense moment for me... and for Courtney. Later that night, her boyfriend would ask her to be his wife, so I am sure this night will always remain as a magical Christmas for her. My part is small in comparison, but seems like all her dreams really are coming true...

The Gift

When I think about gifts that I have received and even gifts that I have given that have meant a great deal to me, a ribbon of vignettes flow through my mind - from a favorite doll that I received for Christmas as a child that my grandchildren still play with and love today to letters I have written through the years to my children during the holidays that express the love of an entire year. Some of them still make tears well in my eyes as I remember each of them at a certain age or have specific memories of specific events in their young lives. Childhood, especially looking back, whether it's your own or that of your children is such a special gift that you hold in your heart forever.

But if I had to narrow it down to one gift to write about, it would be the memories of a Christmas when the children were very small. Jimmy and I were both teaching, but I had taken a few years off to be a stay-at-home mom and money was especially tight - I mean TIGHT! We hadn't really planned for me to stay home and we had truly sacrificed for me to spend a few years at home while the children were very young. We didn't have a Christmas savings or a piggy bank that we could open for the season so Jimmy had taken a second job after school was out for the holiday - I think working at a jewelry store. We were going to use that meager extra income to pay for Christmas for the kids. I remember as Wes wrote his letter to Santa I tried to make sure that he asked for very modest things because I knew there wouldn't be that much money. Courtney was just a toddler so I knew she would be happy with the wrapping paper and a roll of tape to play with! I also remember not letting Wes watch much TV that holiday season because I didn't want him to see the very persuasive commercials of the season so he wouldn't be mesmerized by some certain toy that I wouldn't be able to afford or wouldn't be able to find at the last minute. Jimmy worked all day and late into the evenings during his Christmas "vacation", as so many teachers are forced to do. I met him during lunch on Christmas Eve to get his check so I could do the kids' Christmas shopping. I remember going to a toy store and the shelves being practically empty. There were parents there who looked haggard and as hopeless as I felt. I think that picture in my mind of feeling so empty in that moment and seeing the desperation in the eyes of other parents - some who were desperately looking for a certain toy or doll - will be seared into my mind forever. I bought what I could find, really just buying what was left. I arranged all of the toys that night from Santa but I worried that Wes would be disappointed. As the sun came up, he and Courtney rushed into the room with the tree and were as excited as if they had received the jewels of the kingdom. I have asked Wes since he has become an adult if that Christmas stands out, if he felt like he received less as he compared what he received with friends' lists or went over to his cousins' house to see their limitless gifts, but he remembers it as a great Christmas and simply blends it into all of the other family Christmases that we spent together.

As I have reflected on that Christmas, I have remembered what I should have known all along - it's not the money that you spend, but the strength of connection that is the enduring feeling of the season. Of course, every Christmas since them, I get a pit in my stomach remembering how, as parents, we want so much for our loved ones and how devastated we can be when we think we are disappointing our children or that we aren't living up to their expectations, when really, it will never be about the things. It will always be about the depth of emotion - the smiles that pass between us as we sing a familiar carol, hugging each other in the reflection of the Christmas lights, the smells of the season. That's the gift I wish I could give all parents - to know that you can't really buy those kind of intangible gifts - they only come through time together, delight in the season, and loving with abandon. May this season bring the gift of joy and of knowing love in its purest form!

Wondering of a Mad Scientist

When I think of myself as a Scientist, there's not much there! I did LOVE Biology in high school, but it had nothing to do with the content. I did well in the class because I had a terrible crush on my teacher, Coach Fisher DeBerry who was also the baseball coach (later the head Football Coach at the Air Force Academy). He treated us like adults and had very high expectations. I ADORED him so I studied harder and worked harder in his class than any other class that I had. I remember how crushed I was when he told us that he was going to get married! Unfortunately my crush on the teacher did not instill in me a love for Science. In college I took the mandatory classes including an astronomy class with a lab on top of one of the dorms that was held at night so we could look at the night sky. I don't remember ever learning to use the telescope in a way that was useful! One of the reasons that I have to work so hard to understand the first grade Science curriculum is because I don't have a strong Science background. It is my hope to do enough study now to find the doors that will engage my students in a way that I never have been. It's not easy to teach something that you don't really know well and that's why I relish having a co-teacher that has a strong major and interest in the Sciences. She can often fill in the interesting little tidbits, the vocabulary and the explanations that the children find so amazing. As we expect stronger and stronger content in lower grades to prepare a foundation for our 5th grade state assessment, it will require all of us to dig deeper. It will require administrators to stretch their professional development dollars to take teachers like me and make them the type of Scientists that can move a generation of children. Quite a challenge!

My Life as a First Grader

Back in the day - children were not required to go to Kindergarten, but my mom worked so I was enrolled in a small private Kindergarten where I mostly remember playing in the sandbox. However, going to "real" school was a big deal and I was enrolled in Royall Elementary School in Florence, SC on that first day of first grade with a little fear and lots of anticipation. My teacher was Mrs. Sharp and she ruled with an iron hand. She was older, stern and had a ruddy complexion. I don't remember that she ever smiled. I was deathly afraid of her. I vividly remember the day in first grade as we opened our reading books to the "adventures" of Dick, Jane and Sally. I did not know the word "see" and called the word "look". Mrs. Sharp was furious, furious, furious (as I remember it!) and pulled me by the ear. I was so afraid that she was going to make me wear the baby cap (which was a baby blue crocheted cap with a satin bow she made the "bad" boys wear to lunch) that I was practically trembling. I was a timid student with no self confidence. My mother had never read to me. I don't think she knew that is what she was suppose to do so I was not particularly well prepared for the academic pursuits of first grade. I was very fortunate the next year to have a second grade teacher, Mrs. Gilmore, that changed my life by believing in me. She was the reason that I later became a teacher. Right before I got married, my mother and I ran into Mrs. Sharp and she was actually delightful. She told my mom that I was such a sweet, well-behaved student! Really? She was actually pleasant and I remember walking away and being so surprised. That lesson has stuck with me all these years. When my students remember me I want it to be with a smile on my face!

I graduated from high school with most of the same students who sat with me in first grade. There was very little diversity in our little school. Schools in my southern town would not be integrated until my final years of high school. I knew nothing else so it would be years - when I became a teacher in my own hometown - before I really came to terms with what was actually happening in our southern segregated schools.

Life was safe in my little first grade world. I rode my bike to and from school. It was a couple of miles, across a main road. Many of my friends rode their bikes or walked to school and I can't ever remember any parent worrying, although remembering some of the things we did on the way home, maybe they should have! Even though my mom owned her own dancing school and worked every day, which was unusual for the times, I came home every day to my Granny who lived with us. I don't think there was anything like day care or Extended Day after school. All my friends went home to after-school snacks  and most of them went home to their stay-at-home moms. Divorce was not even an option in the times when I was a first grader.

I think life is much more complex for families today. Children spend larger amounts of time in the care of someone other than a family member. Parents, who mostly seem to be working these days, often come home tired. I know I did when I was a parent and I had a first grader while I was working full time. As a teacher now, I try to remember that my little first graders really have much more complex lives and the very things that excite us about their connectedness to the world also bother us because our children are exposed to so much more. In my years as a first grader we only had three television stations available, no cell phones or computers - hard to imagine - and rotary telephones with cords attached! Was it easier when we were just oblivious? I guess only time will tell....

Thankfulness

As I think about the things that I am thankful for, of course, my family comes to mind first. They are the foundation of my life and why I do the things that I do, but besides their very powerful influence and love, it is the students that I have taught over the years that have defined my life. I have always believed that I was called to teach - that this is where I am suppose to be. It's as if God whispered in my ear and let me know that my life's work was to be in the classroom. I have also always believed that the children and families that come into my classroom come by Divine appointment. I was meant to teach that child and engage with that family at that time. No mistakes. However, in my youthful arrogance, I once thought that children came to me because I had something to offer them.  As I have gotten older and have gained a degree of humility I have come to realize that it is not what I have to offer them but what they have to teach me. That is why they come... And one of the things they have taught me is thankfulness. I am so thankful to be able to spend my life in the company of children who laugh... and cry, who love with abandon and who say just exactly what is on their little minds. I laughed out loud last week when I asked the children to use our vocabulary word "admire" in a sentence and Isaac said, "I admire you Mrs. Timmons." I was so touched that I almost got choked up and so I asked him why. He thought for just a second and said, "Because you're old!" Ya gotta love work that includes that kind of honesty!

My Life as a Writer

I guess I've always been a writer, but as a young student I don't ever remember being taught to write or any teacher ever encouraging me to write. I do remember being in middle school and the teacher assigning a creative writing assignment. We had to write about "Red." I don't really remember what I wrote but I do remember the pieces that the teacher read out loud and I remember being blown away because they were so-o-o- good. None of the stuff that they wrote ever popped into MY head! I remember thinking that I could NEVER write like that!

Even as a young child, however, I liked to write. I had a diary. I remember writing long journal entries about everything in my life. I also remember destroying a couple of the diaries because I was afraid my mother would find them! As a young wife I wrote furiously in a journal trying to figure out how to learn to live with another person. I really didn't have a good role model for being a good wife so none of it came naturally for me. My husband used to call it my "hate" journal because I was more likely to be writing when things weren't going well or I was really upset! I still think I do my best writing when I'm fired up about something. It's easy to write with voice - with passion and emotion when I care deeply about an issue.

While I was home on my second maternity leave, my writing took a dramatic turn. I had been leading a mixed group of teachers who had been meeting together once a week for a couple of years to share teaching ideas - I guess I understood collegiality way before it was the newest buzz word - and while I was out with my second baby I decided to finish the document that we had been working on for those two years. It was ideas around teaching a letter of the week to beginning readers. I had been keeping notes on all of our ideas so I decided to complete the research that we never seemed to have time to finish as a gift to the teachers when I returned. It was their idea that I try to have it published after they realized how much additional work I had put into our original ideas. I thought it was lark but decided to send the manuscript off to six publishers. I knew so little about publishing but within two weeks I had a contract for my first book. However, there were many delays and it was not published until five years later in 1991, A is Amazing. I just happened to submit a manuscript that a particular publisher was looking for at that particular time so the contract was immediate, but the publisher was going through some editorial changes that caused many delays and frustrations. Now, of course, the idea of "letter of the week" has fallen out of favor and of course, the book is out of print, but at the time it became a best seller for the company and within 6 months I had a contract for another book and so it went. I published 10 books with that company over the next few years.

In the meantime I had been publishing ideas in The Mailbox and they invited me to a Summer Writing Institute where I joined eight other authors from across the country that were all doing freelance work for the The Education Center which publishes The Mailbox Magazines. I went to Greensboro, NC for two summers to learn to write the "Mailbox" way and it was both intimidating and awesome. At the summer retreat I met three other teacher-writer-moms who lived in different parts of the country. We decided to propose a series of books to The Education Center while we were there and to our surprise, they accepted our proposal. It was a first for them to have collaborators outside their direct organization make a proposal.  For the next four years the four of us wrote books using e-mail. It was before Google Docs or any of the on-line pieces that make cooperative writing so much easier. It was cumbersome but it was the first time The Education Center had a completed manuscript that was done outside of their offices that didn't require major revision. Those three women were funny, creative, and wonderful co-writers and I am richer for having known and worked with each one of them. Just remembering that time in my life puts a smile on my face!

During those ten years I wrote or co-authored 19 books for teachers. When I think about it now, I am awed by how prolific I was and I am proud of that accomplishment. I could not have done it if my husband had not been so willing to take up the slack. He learned to wash clothes and dishes during those years as I often wrote through the night to meet a deadline while I taught full time. I tried for my writing not to take time away from my children and so I wrote late at night, very early in the mornings, and while they were away with friends. I loved it, but there came a time when I felt it was taking too much of my time... so before my daughter left home, I decided to put down the pen and spend time with her. It was a good decision.

In the meantime, I joined a new faculty and began a steep learning curve into a new chapter in my life. I haven't really been moved to take on a book project or at least, when I thought maybe I wanted to, things just didn't seem to piece together easily so that I really felt it was what I was suppose to do. I usually get very clear messages about what I am suppose to be doing - nothing like the burning bush, of course, but still pretty clear! Today I write on a more immediate level. I have written about the work I'm doing now in magazines and for some on-line publications, when asked, and I love blogging about my work. I work with incredible teachers. I've written some units for and with the teachers I work with now and then have sent them out to anyone that wanted them. That actually has been very gratifying.

While I have written on topics that I was asked to write on, that kind of writing is like writing to a prompt. My best writing comes when I just have something noddling around in my head and I just can't seem to get rid of it unless I write about it. Some of that writing is so emotional that it will never see the light of day and some of it is just my ramblings about things in my personal life but some of it has a purpose and involves things I want to share about the work that I am lucky enough to do now.

I am not, nor will I ever be, the world's greatest writer. I don't write deep pieces with great thoughts that will change the world. I don't write "funny," because actually I'm not really a very funny person. I just write about the world as I see it and hope that something I say might resonate and make a difference...

I do believe that the varied experiences that I have had have made me a better writing teacher. I think I understand many of the reasons that people write and I realize that children need to learn to write for many different reasons. It is my job to release the inner writer's voice that is in each of my children so that whatever it is that they will need to do, they will be equipped to do it - whether it's texting or therapy or writing the next great novel. Here's to that writer in each of us!

Moments that Make Me Smile

As we wrap up the day. I sometimes play the "Skittles quiz" with the class. The quiz is simply me asking questions that review the day and kids get a single Skittle if they answer correctly. As I was reviewing the afternoon before our Mem Fox Celebration, I asked the kids what we would be doing first thing in the morning. To open our Mem Fox Celebration, we were going to be Skyping a first grade teacher in Australia. It would be the middle of the night for her! We were very excited in anticipation, but the students were not really familiar with Skype so most of them didn't really know what to expect. When I asked them, "Who remembers what we will be doing in the morning?" one of the kiddos piped up, "We're gonna be skyping the fox!" I would love to see the picture in his mind! It made me smile.

Last week we were stamping on fake "tatoos" of pumpkins and bats. We were using wooden stamps and acrylic paint and asking the children if they wanted the stamps on their face or on their arms. As one of the little girls sat down, she pulled the collar of her dress down to show the space right over her breast and said, "Can I have mine right here? My mom has hers right here." We said, "Absolutely not!" but it still made me smile! My day is full of those small moments that make me smile for I know from experience that I’ll look back and realize all of these funny little moments add up to something special, something important, something irreplaceable.

My Life as a Mathematician

My friends will NEVER let me live this down but somehow I missed this week's challenge in my list of fall blog challenge topics and wrote about next week's topic instead. I have given the math teachers such a hard time all these years that they are going to swear that I skipped the math post on purpose! We have had an on-going debate among Math and Reading teachers over the years about which subject is the most difficult to teach and which is the most important. Obviously, I'm on the RIGHT side - with Reading being much more complex and difficult to teach and certainly more important than Math! With all that said, I am back to teaching first grade math for the first time in many, many years so I am probably going to have to eat my words about which subject is the most difficult to teach!

There is no question that math is an important part of my day from balancing my checkbook to figuring out how to convert a recipe to appropriate Weight Watcher measurements to figuring out how many days until my niece's wedding. And of course, teaching is run on data these days so there is hardly ever a day when I'm not trying to interpret some sort of assessment information! I guess I am fortunate that Math has always come very easy for me. I grew up in a Southern county that had an excellent math prep program and I actually tested out of all Math in college. It will surprise most of my friends to know that I actually started my freshman year of college as a math major! However, it didn't last long.   I had especially loved Algebra in middle school when I first started advanced Math. It came really easy and I loved my teacher. I actually went back to teach in that same middle school many years later and taught in the classroom beside her! She was as outstanding then as she had been when I was a student.

I'm not sure that any of that prepared me to be a Math teacher. As I have begun to teach an inquiry-based Math program, I have felt as unsettled as some of my students. The disequilibrium is real.  I have really had to dig to remember the HOW I know something works. I just know the answer but I don't always know how I know. It's a lot like reading comprehension. You know the answer because you have learned to use strategies automatically. It took a while for me to break through HOW I knew the answer and to identify the strategies and proof when I first starting taking reading comprehension apart. I think it will work that same way with Math. I know the answer automatically, but I will have to really search for the strategies and proof of how I got the answer. I am thinking that it may take as much creativity and depth of research in Math as it has in Reading! In fact, I have decided to use this year as I journey through the Math curriculum to write about math for the first time. I've always used this blog to document literacy but today's blog will begin my journey with Math! I'll still write about Literacy, of course, but I will begin to include Math instruction as it is rolled our in our first grade classrooms... Stay tuned!

The Book That Made the Biggest Impact

This blog challenge is on the book that made the greatest impact on my life. Wow - this was really a difficult post to write. There are so many books that I have loved - so many that I have read that have left an impression or that have taught me about life. I really struggled with which book had the greatest impact.

I finally settled on a series of books. When I was in the 3rd-4th grade I was introduced to a series of books called The Dana Sisters written by Carolyn Keene. She was probably more famous for the Nancy Drew series. Of course now I know that Carolyn Keene was a pseudonym for several different writers who wrote under the Carolyn Keene name. The Dana Sisters were a cross between the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew but those books really hooked me. Each story was a

mystery that was solved by two sisters. It was the first series of books that I ever read - books with strong independent young women - the first time I got so hooked on books. At the time I got an allowance - my lunch money plus a dollar a week. The books cost a dollar and I spent my allowance on the books for many weeks. The books were actually being written during that time and I remember I would go to the bookstore every single week to see if a new book had been published. A new book was like a golden prize.

I guess the reason I think those books made the biggest impact is because they opened up a whole new world - the world of being lost in a story - a habit that would become such an enjoyable part of my life. If I could do one thing for each child in my class it would be to give them that gift of a love for reading. Not only is reading for information a critical skill, the ability to lose yourself in the story of a good book or the ability to cry at a true story that touches your heart or the ability to search the Bible for answers in times of great struggle or the simple ability to enjoy a picture book with your child, add such depth and dimension to your life. May that seed be planted in every child that walks through the door...

Class Poll - Our Favorite Mem Fox character

We are deep in the midst of a Mem Fox Author Study. This is our third week and children are digging deeper as they are comparing and contrasting books, retelling the stories in pictures and words, and are talking about the descriptive way in which Mem Fox describes her characters. For this week's survey, I thought I'd ask each student which was their favorite Mem Fox character and why. We discussed the characters and then each child joined a table group and wrote characteristics of one of the characters. We shared out the results. Then they each took a index card and and drew a picture of their favorite character on one side and on the other side wrote why that particular character was their favorite. Finally we graphed the results.

Looks like little Hush from Mem Fox' Possum Magic is the class favorite. I'm not surprised. He started out as invisible so the snakes couldn't see and harm him and when he wanted to become visible so he could see himself. Grandma Poss traveled with him all over Australia trying native foods until she figured out exactly what would break the spell. Hush is adorable, knows what he wants, and loves an adventure. Hmmmm...sounds a lot

like the kids who voted for him!

My Life as a Reader

My teaching partner, Tracy Ruark and I actually just did this lesson, "My Life as a Reader" for the children in our classroom last week. We wanted them to know how reading effects our own lives so they could see all the ways that we use reading in our daily life. We then had the children write about their lives as readers.

I love, love, love to read. I read fiction. Right now on my nightstand is Barbara Delinsky's The Secret Between Us - a new author for me. My favorite author is Jodie Piccoult but I've read everything she's written so I'm just waiting until her next release. I just loved her last book about a young man with Asperger's Syndrome. Reading is relaxing for me and I most often read laid out on my comfy sofa or in bed before I go to sleep. Probably my most favorite place to read is in the late afternoon at the beach.

When I was young, reading was a way to escape - a way to imagine living in a perfect world of dreams and imagination. I think I still read fiction for that reason. The problem is that I often get so involved in a story line that I just can't put the book down. I have been known to read all night long - especially during vacations! That's one of the reasons that I read People and Southern Living and right now, I'm reading wedding magazines because my daughter is "that" age! Magazines have shorter articles and I can pace myself better! I'm not as tempted to do an all-nighter.

I also read non-fiction. I have three books about teaching reading and writing on my night stand right now. I usually make myself read the nonfiction books before I allow myself the pleasure of reading fiction! If I'm honest I'd have to admit to doing most of my reading these days on the Internet, so I'm probably reading more non-fiction than I imagine. I'm always searching for something new to use in my classroom. I also read lots of blogs. Reading is a big part of my life. I can't imagine life without something good to read!  Hope that love for reading is contagious and that each child in my class catches it before theyear is out!

Join a Blog Challenge

At the end of last year our Leadership Team noticed that many of our blogging teachers had really stopped posting altogether or had posted fewer times as the year had gone along. What had started as a new, fun, creative idea the years before had begun to fizzle. Not only that, but while teachers had done a pretty good job of putting photographs up of the children in their classroom during big events, it seemed that they were missing the variety and deeper lessons that could be shared through blogging. I remember making the comment at that time that I wanted to send something to teachers every week when I returned to the classroom full time so it would give them some ideas of what to blog about. Of course, while my intention was good, as I returned to the classroom full time I got stuck in the quagmire of things that eat up a teacher's time. I haven't delivered on my intent. Our technology mentor, Melanie Holtsman, had heard that little seed of an idea and, as it so often happens, had let the idea germinate until she had a plan for how it could be implemented. One of the things that I love about our Leadership group is that someone can present a problem or even an idea of how we might do something better and someone else will pick up on it and run. So... Melanie has come up with a blogging challenge. Of course, she always thinks bigger than I do so she has opened it up to anyone that wants to take the challenge! To read all the details, check out her blog. As for me, watch for my blog each week to meet the challenge. You'll know it's a blogging challenge because it will be labeled fallblogchallenge2010.